The Movie Binge

Review: Loverboy

Unfortunately, still photos can't accurately show crappiness.

Going in, I knew this film was going to be bad. The reviews were awful and I had little to no interest in the subject. I planned to survive this film by waiting for the moments when Kyra Sedgwick had a lot of sex. Surely, that would keep me engaged for a few of the 84 minutes of Loverboy. As a testament to the quality of this film, even the naughty bits made me consider standing up and walking into a showing of Garfield's Tail of Two Kitties. Loveryboy might even end up in my list of ten worst films I've ever seen. Yes, it was that bad.

Mostly, Kyra Sedgwick pissed me off. Instead of feeling her pain for the awful childhood she endured, I just wanted her to stop talking. It was like watching a modern-day Saturday Night Live sketch that you hoped would have a punchline but never did...and it lasted 84 minutes. Even the "surprise" ending was a cop-out. Sigh. That was seriously a waste of $10.75. I'm thankful that no other film this summer looks quite so hideous, otherwise I'd be tempted to quit now and save my dignity and remaining brain cells.

So this is your warning: Don't See Loveryboy.