The Movie Binge

Review: Little Man

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Well, United Artists Court St. Theater, you're oh for two. At least last time I was able to walk away with a good story. Little Man provided me with nothing but pain and suffering, in every sense of the word.

I'll briefly explain the plot, in hopes that it will scare most of you away. Little Man is a Wayans brothers film (wait, let me at least finish the sentence) about a midget who's left jail and is looking to make a buck stealing a huge diamond with his friend (played by Tracy Morgan, who is the funniest man in the movie). He has to ditch the diamond in a hot lady's purse and decides to dress up as a baby to infiltrate her house and steal the diamond. He sticks around for a weekend and hilarity events ensue. Oh, and the body of the midget is played by one man while the head is played by Marlon Wayans (now you can leave).

You know how a good SNL skit is sometimes made into a movie? Well, I think this hour and a half movie might make a decent SNL skit, but nothing more. Despite attempting to pack in about 600 jokes in 90 minutes, there are only about three to four minutes of this film that don't make me want to vomit in my mouth. I'll admit, it's funny seeing Marlon Wayans' head on a tiny person's body, but it's also fun to use photoshop to put George Bush's head on the body of a monkey.

This movie redefines awful. I would rather have witnessed a homeless man pooping on my stoop or a bald eagle being gutted and eaten by a pack of school children. "Look, you chose to see every single movie; we didn't tell you to do it," you say. Yes, you are right and I expect no sympathy. But. For the entirity of the film, the air conditioning was not working. Yes, I had to watch this pile of garbage in a packed theater with no air circulation and a temperature of about eighty-five degrees.

If you like dick and fart jokes and are willing to sit through 90 minutes of garbage for a few laughs, then this movie is for you. Also, if you are that person, I request you never talk to me ever.

Comments

I can't believe you actually sat through this. I would have just pretended that it never opened. You are one brave soul, Matty.

the air conditioner has been broken for a while then because i saw superman returns there last weekend and it was broken then (not in my theatre though)! and in further hilarity, as we were leaving the theatre, a woman chased down a different woman (down all 11 floors of escalators) to tell her she shouldn't have "tripped" her mentally challenged son - the security was called in. people go crazy at that theatre.

"people go crazy at that theatre."

I know, and I kinda' love it. I usually only go there when it's some useless effects-laden piece o' junk, so I find the borderline Rock Horror -esque participation to be an added bonus.

Case in point:
Last summer I saw "Batman Begins" there (for the second time...gulp), and during the early fight sequence in between Batty and the Baddies (Neeson, et al) a straight-up fist-fight broke out. I'm talking arms-a-pushin, fists-a-flyin', I mean, the whole joint was on their feet (Whether this was due to fear, excitemnt or both I'm not quite sure). It was completely off the hook. The best part is that the two lunkheads who instigated it split, and the older dude they accosted just sat down and watched the rest of the movie (WTF?), as did the rest of the crowd. And this was on a Sunday afternoon.

That place is a f*ckin' asylum!

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