The Movie Binge

Review: Crank


The end of summer sees a lot of dreck, scroll through The Binge and have a looksee to get my drift. Crank is no different, except in one way, it's truly top of the line dreck, the kind that feels like a two hour lobotomy. It feels great, a little desensitizing, but great.

Crank's Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is your typical anti-hero. A hired killer/professional asshole who wakes up one day to find that he's been bushwhacked by another thug. In his veins is some brutal Chinese chemical cocktail that will kill him in about an hour, unless he stays amped. By running around like a freak, he'll live just a little bit longer.

He gets a raw deal, but you kind of feel that a murderer's got it coming...still, Chev is winning, the anithesis of the brooding soulful killer. A bad attitude all hopped up on cocaine, redbull, nasal spray, what have you, there are more than a few laughs to be had in Chev's bullheaded approach to each situation.

It works, because where a typical action movie might substitute sappy familial renderings or dwell on the motives of a tortured druglord, Crank substitutes laughs. I'm not going to ruin the jokes, because they're what gives this movie its sublime moments.

Lest we forget, Crank is an action movie. No getting around that. People lose limbs, bullets fly and wounds are received and promptly ignored. For the record its nice to see an action star, a manly man, sport some chest hair. Just saying.


Saw this last night and it was average. Fast paced from the start with the gun-ho attitude and the one-liner comedy moments were good to. Two questions:

1) What was with the Google maps bit!
2) Did anyone spot, when he was walking down a tall, narrow corridor, after a 50/50 split scene with his physician, while still on his cell to him, the cut-scene of the physician appears on the right-hand side of the wall? Actual playing video...

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